Doormats should look like this…
Healthy Relationships require Pruning
Trees have much to teach us about ourselves and our relationships. When you examine trees you can see when they’re overgrown with branches they become unhealthy and pruning becomes necessary. As human beings we have attachments, small or big; loyalties (considered or otherwise) dictating our actions when it's better to choose instead, intelligently and from a place of love. Are the people in your life, at this time, the right people for you? And, are you right for them?
If someone in your life is frequently blaming others, causing trouble, behaving selfishly and is only interested in themselves, you have to ask yourself if it's worth the effort. You can love without being a doormat. If someone refuses to be accountable and is playing time-wasting mind games, then it matters not if they are a so-called life-long friend, or “beloved” family member — they’re stunting your growth. They're draining precious resources that could be used for something special you want to accomplish, forever distracting you by causing a mess that’s only destined to become a bigger one.
The truth is there are those who don’t want to get better — and they don’t want you getting any better, either. Misery doesn’t just love company: it MAKES company. You can try to save somebody, but when the weight becomes too heavy, you’re going to drown right along with them. (They may even be pulling you down on purpose. Have you checked your pockets for rocks lately?) Perhaps you want to change but feel disloyal… Any real friend would support a positive change. I asked, “Are YOU right for people in your life?” When you quit participating in your own degradation, believe me, those who feed on it will no longer require your presence.
If you are suffering from “nice-itis,” then, listen up! You can't placate drama-lovin' manipulative people. It’s especially sad when misguidedly thinking loving means enabling, even encouraging, bad behavior. Sacrificing your own life isn’t noble: just stupid. Love was never meant to be sick; but extricating yourself from a bad situation can be hard and very frightening. Not realizing there’s something better out there keeps people clinging to what they know — no matter how awful. If you find yourself in this tough spot, remain open to the powerful flow of good within and all pathways will be made clear. When they do, ACT. Always remember, what people say means little: it is our actions that reveal our character.
Real spirituality will eventually eschew all negative influences, especially those you create yourself. It’s not a betrayal to move away from what’s toxic. What’s right action is right for everyone and we can love but you must honor your own life first. A whole, real, amazing world awaits you, one you can’t discover while stuck in the bathroom cleaning excrement that’s been flung all over the place by you or your "loved ones" because you just can't stop swimming in nastiness. (Nice visual, huh? How do you think it smells?!!)
Take a lesson from the trees: when we’re actively cared for, pruned regularly and preparing to bear fruit, all that STUFF (from the bathroom) can be used in the best way; in the way it was meant and intended: TO HELP US GROW. Isn’t it wonderful? Ain’t life grand? All the uncomfortable, painful nonsense you’ve been through, are going through, or will ever go through can also be used for good. Remember that. Never forget that.